Volltext: The waves

. THE WAVES 
She stands for a moment at the swing-door, looking about 
her like a creature dazed by the light of a lamp. Now she 
moves. She has the stealthy yet assured movements (even 
among tables and chairs) of a wild beast. She seems to find 
her way by instinct in and out among these little tables, 
touching no one, disregarding waiters, yet comes straight to 
our table in the corner. When she sees us (Neville, and 
myself) her face assumes a certainty which is alarming, as if 
she had what she wanted. To be loved by Susan would be 
to be impaled by a bird’s sharp beak, to be nailed to a barn- 
yard door. Yet there are moments when I could wish to be 
speared by a beak, to be nailed to a barnyard door, positively, 
once and for all. 
“ Rhoda comes now, from nowhere, having slipped in 
while we were not looking. She must have made a tortuous 
course, taking cover now behind a waiter, now behind some 
ornamental pillar, sa as to put off as long as possible the shock 
of recognition, so as to be secure for one more moment to 
rock her petals in her basin. We wake her. We torture her. 
She dreads us, she despises us, yet comes cringing to our 
sides because for all our cruelty there is always some name, 
some face, which sheds a radiance, which lights up her 
pavements and makes it possible for her to replenish her 
dreams.” 
“The door opens, the door goes om opening,” said 
Neville, * yet he does not come.” 
“ There is Jinny,” said Susan. “She stands in the door. 
Everything seems stayed. The waiter stops. The diners at 
the table by the door look. She seems to centre everything ; 
round her tables, lines of doors, windows, ceilings, ray 
themselves, like rays round the star in the middle of a smashed 
window-pane. She brings things to a point, to order. Now 
she sees us, and moves, and all the rays ripple and flow and 
waver over us, bringing in new tides of sensation. We 
change. Louis puts his hand to his tie. Neville, who sits 
waiting with agonised intensity, nervously straightens the 
forks in front of him. Rhoda sees her with surprise, as if 
26
	        
Waiting...

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