. THE WAVES
She stands for a moment at the swing-door, looking about
her like a creature dazed by the light of a lamp. Now she
moves. She has the stealthy yet assured movements (even
among tables and chairs) of a wild beast. She seems to find
her way by instinct in and out among these little tables,
touching no one, disregarding waiters, yet comes straight to
our table in the corner. When she sees us (Neville, and
myself) her face assumes a certainty which is alarming, as if
she had what she wanted. To be loved by Susan would be
to be impaled by a bird’s sharp beak, to be nailed to a barn-
yard door. Yet there are moments when I could wish to be
speared by a beak, to be nailed to a barnyard door, positively,
once and for all.
“ Rhoda comes now, from nowhere, having slipped in
while we were not looking. She must have made a tortuous
course, taking cover now behind a waiter, now behind some
ornamental pillar, sa as to put off as long as possible the shock
of recognition, so as to be secure for one more moment to
rock her petals in her basin. We wake her. We torture her.
She dreads us, she despises us, yet comes cringing to our
sides because for all our cruelty there is always some name,
some face, which sheds a radiance, which lights up her
pavements and makes it possible for her to replenish her
dreams.”
“The door opens, the door goes om opening,” said
Neville, * yet he does not come.”
“ There is Jinny,” said Susan. “She stands in the door.
Everything seems stayed. The waiter stops. The diners at
the table by the door look. She seems to centre everything ;
round her tables, lines of doors, windows, ceilings, ray
themselves, like rays round the star in the middle of a smashed
window-pane. She brings things to a point, to order. Now
she sees us, and moves, and all the rays ripple and flow and
waver over us, bringing in new tides of sensation. We
change. Louis puts his hand to his tie. Neville, who sits
waiting with agonised intensity, nervously straightens the
forks in front of him. Rhoda sees her with surprise, as if
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